What Defines You?

What Defines You

We are all in pursuit of more joy, happiness and peace. Easy right? Maybe not, especially if you've forgotten how it feels.

In order to find more joy, it is important to first consider what might be creating a block. What is causing that block or clouding the view of what you are after? This is the first place to start because if we look too far out at the ideal situation, we will miss what is right in front of us.

Start by considering what is most important to you. Is it recognition, winning at whatever field you are in, approval of others, being #1, etc.. . .

I am all for shooting for the top and being the best that you can be, but be very mindful of the impact it has on your life. Joy brought on by this kind of success is often fleeting with an unstable foundation. It is only in reflection that the truth is seen. Maybe being the best is important to you but should it be your driving force? Did you ever wonder if there was something more? Something greater? How often do we see celebrities or pro athletes crash their lives once the spotlight shifts off of them. It is a matter of where you find your sense of self worth.

A few things to keep in mind:

1. Is your emphasis on the right thing?

Place an emphasis on the awards or recognition, & they will control your life. Many of us in business have a clear set of performance measures. We look at them quarterly, monthly, daily. Yes, we need clear measurements but be careful that they don’t define who you are. The joy that is found in the performance is often gone once the number changes, often outside of our control.

Winner - Loser

2. watch out for fair weather fans

The ones that are cheering for you will often be the ones that go into hiding when the spotlight is off of you. They follow you to get a piece of success but are out of sight once they no longer have anything to gain from you.

3. Be the best, whatever you choose

Avoid the comparison trap. There will always be someone better, if they are not out there already. If joy is found at the expense of others then it will soon pass. A better approach is trying to be the best you can be. I once saw a quote from Clint Eastwood on something that he said to his son.

If you want to be a janitor, be a janitor but, be the very best one that you can be.”

Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood illustration
envy

4. Don't rely on approval of others

Many people will not care or acknowledge that you are standing out. Those that have already succeeded in the business get this one. If you have ever been a top performer, some will say that you cheated, got lucky or will not even acknowledge that you have done well. The person that follows you will often tear apart what you built and build something with their own name on it. If you find joy in the approval of others, it will most certainly be a disappointment.

5. Where is your line in the sand?

Be careful of what you are willing to sacrifice for the attention, money or performance. How often do we see personal/family lives wrecked by someone paying attention to the wrong thing? A good perspective is to ask those people at the end of their life what they regret most.

Keep in mind . . . what is keeping you from achieving joy? Once identified, are you willing to give those things up?

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